So I've decided to begin a blog. Motivated primarily, like most people, by lack of productivity in other areas. But no matter - I think the idea is, at present, just to jot down some of my impressions of this place before I forget about them entirely.
The thing that has made the greatest impression on me today is, perhaps unsurprisingly, Hamid Karzai's speech at the Oxford Union. The whole thing was impressive, of course, but a couple of things struck me in particular.
First, that I found that I regard Karzai as much more of a genuine leader than I would my own prime minister or the leaders of many states - perhaps because of what he personally has to face down or the challenges his country faces, but perhaps also because of his bearing. He explicitly recognised that he was under constraints as President in terms of what he could and could not say, and that he wished he could speak as freely as a student. And yet he seemed to attempt to say as much as possible within those constraints; there were several times that I thought he was (quite successfully) dodging tricky questions, but invariably he was simply making preferatory remarks before confronting the tough issue head-on. He also seemed to construct his remarks within the constraints so that we could guess at how he genuinely felt, rather than the all-too-familiar obfuscation practiced by those who could be far freer with what they say.
Second, one of the questions was about the role of the Canadian troops in rebuilding Afghanistan, and his response touched me deeply. He was asked if the Afghan people wanted the Canadians there. I think recent poll data support his response, but the way he said it expressed something sharper than numbers can. He said that Canada's contribution was beyond generous, and the willingness of Canada to sacrifice her daughters and sons to help Afghanistan was something they were very grateful for. And then he paused a bit to search for words before saying that human language has not yet evolved to be able to express the kind of gratitude he means - which is why when he spoke at the Canadian parliament he said it in the simplest form possible: thank you. Something about the way he said this - about the feeling he could put into expressing it, really cut me to the core. I cried a bit (three tears). And it really made me upset about the level of debate over Canada's involvement in Afghanistan at home - the maneuvering, the jockeying for position, the inability of anyone, it seems, to give us a really good explanation of their stand.
I don't want to make it out like I think Karzai is the ideal leader or anything - but I was deeply impressed. And I certainly have a lot to think about. Not least the guilt I currently feel. Karzai prefaced his remarks by saying how great a pleasure it was to speak at Oxford. He said that all students, wherever they are, dream of going to Oxford (or Cambridge) - and that he had been one of them. It drove home again the ridiculous life of privilege I enjoy here. And so I'm not feeling good that knowing that, and thinking about it, all I have achieved since I got home is cooking lunch, washing dishes, doing a quarter of a reading and starting a blog. I need to figure out exactly what it is I am doing, and what it is I want to do, and how to bring the two closer together. Hopefully this whole writing things down thing will help.
That's it for this post - except for a closing thought (not mine) that sort of sums up what I'm trying to say:
"You are all busy. It's important to be busy,
but if you don't find the time to change the world,
then you're busy keeping it the way it is."
- Albert Jones, Boston janitor & volunteer bus driver
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